


Talking To Myself

by DigitalPopsicle



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Personal Growth, idk what to tag this as rly, like only a brief mention, shipping is only very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 04:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12051072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalPopsicle/pseuds/DigitalPopsicle
Summary: Ryuji used to go to Mementos on his own to train, but sometimes he just goes to talk to himself.





	Talking To Myself

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a drabble I thought of because i have feelings about Ryuji's leg injury. Lots of feelings.

Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity, at least that's how the saying goes. But what if talking to yourself was technically talking to a superpowered spectre that was a ghostly manifestation of how you saw yourself?

Ryuji knew that Mementos was a dangerous place, where he shouldn't go in alone and should be very careful about the wandering shadows that weren't quite the same as the ones they met in the Palaces but at the same time were pretty much the same thing.

His routine had started shortly after they had stolen the heart of Kamoshida and subsequently were introduced to Mementos. Thanks to their faithful leader providing them with some amazing replica weapons (he wondered there the boy had got the money for them really), finding their way through the dark and twisted labyrinth of tracks was more or less a breeze. the ease of it gave the blonde an idea on a day where he had nothing else to do.

Feeling listless and wandering around the train station after school, he'd been playing on his phone when the Nav icon had caught his eye. His thumb hovered over it for a good minute as the idea formed into a solid thought in his brain. Going in would be dangerous alone, but if he stayed on the levels fairly close to the top he should be fine, right? And he'd run from any fight he couldn't handle, so wouldn't that be okay?

The icon was tapped, and Ryuji began what became a habit when he wanted something to do. It started off as a few fights, getting some sneaky training in. After all, he couldn't let their budding team of thieves down just because he slacked off.

But the training devolved into something else over time. Captain Kidd was a great Persona, if he said so himself. Lighting was amazing, his strength was amazing, and he was a pirate for eff's sake! He was cool and badass and everything that Ryuji would want to be.

Being on his own in the tunnels was a little unnerving. The odd sounds of screams on the wind sometimes sent a chill down his spine, so he'd gotten into the habit of talking to himself to fill the silence and drown out the odd noises. Only talking to himself was a little odd, so he'd started talking to his Persona, or pretending his Persona was there right next to him, and Captain Kidd was surprisingly good company.

After a while, Captain Kidd even started responding to him. The voice had that oddly familiar quality to it, as if he was answering himself back. It sounded like himself only not himself. Kidd's voice was a little deeper, more mature sounding, and rough around the edges like a stereotypical pirate's would be, but he didn't speak in that silly accent he would've imagined, it truly was just a variation of his own. The pirate was still part of himself though, part of those feelings and desires Ryuji kept deep down inside him and didn't always show.

Sometimes he didn't go to Mementos just to fight, but rather to sit there and talk things out with himself. And Captain Kidd would respond with advice and help him figure out what he truly wanted behind confused feelings and frustration. It was therapeutic.

It was on one of these occasions that the conversation finally turned to a sore subject; Ryuji's leg.

The blonde sat by the entrance to the twisted subway, leaning back against the tiled wall with his leather thief's outfit creaking with his movements. Flames tickled around his face where his mask once was, trailing off into flames surrounding the spectral projection that was Captain Kidd.

"I mean, trainin' is as much as I can do right now. I got so frickin' lazy that the muscles in my leg got all tense and now running is a bitch." Ryuji groaned, massaging the pained area on his thigh. "I'm gettin' better, but sometimes I feel like I'm lettin' the team down, y'know?"

Kidd nodded, because of course he knew, he was in his head after all. The cannon that served as his right hand idly tapped on the metal band that strapped up his own thigh, as if mimicking the movements of his user. The gesture caught Ryuji's eye, and his gaze widened when he realised just what it was.

"Hey... I never noticed that before." He pointed to the metal strap, causing Kidd to look down at it himself and chuckle.

"This is as part of me as it is of you." The pirate tapped it again, this time harder, the sound echoing off of the tiled walls.

"Part of me..." The blonde hands still rubbed at the scarred part of his thigh. The thick fabric made it hard to feel but he knew it was there. The months he spent in crutches, getting surgery, being told not to strain it, had caused the muscles in the area to tighten and grow painful, because what was the point in keeping up his physiotherapy when the track team hadn't wanted him back and Kamoshida was going to stop any chance he had of being happy.

"Aye. You might hate it, but part of you has accepted it." The pirate went on to explain. "I am everything you are and wish to be. I am thou..."

"Thou art I. I know." Ryuji softly laughed to himself. "This just makes me feel totally useless sometimes though. Like, when we had to run out of Kamoshida's Palace I fell flat on my face because my leg just gave in. Even after all the trainin' I'm doin', I still really struggled getting through Madarame's."

"You like him supporting you." Even without eyebrows or face muscles, Kidd somehow managed to give Ryuji a Look, which made the young blonde flush slightly.

"H-He's a really good guy alright! A-and besides everyone knows you're more motivated to work out if you've got a work-out buddy, right?!" Ryuji stammered over his words but there was no point hiding feelings from a being that was essentially himself.

With a roll of his glowing eyes, Kidd switched back to the topic at hand, filing 'Feelings for Akira Kurusu' away under a subject to tackle another time. "You know that you went lax on your training before. It's going to take time to get back up to full speed, and you know it. You would only be useless if you weren't doing anything about it."

"Y-You've got a point." Coughing lightly, blush fading, Ryuji gave his leg another rub, more in annoyance this time. "I guess it's my hope one day I can run wild through these Palaces and through Mementos without worrying about it seizing up or suddenly hurting like a bitch. Guess it's just a goal to work towards, right?"

"Aye, you'd be right." The smile wasn't on the Persona's face but it was in his voice. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yeah... heh." Another soft chuckle and the blonde chose to finally arise from his seat on the floor. "But coming here clears my head and helps me think."


End file.
